A Series of First’s

Since June 4th I have been on a roller coaster ride of first’s and some lasts as well. Incase you missed it I got married back on June 4th. This is my first marriage and as far as I am concerned my last as well. To quote Luke Dane, “The 0nly way out now is in a body bag.”

Fast forwarding to a couple of weeks ago we purchased our first home. Short of a major promotion this will be our only home that we purchase as well. Full disclosure it was not our first attempt at purchasing our first home. That saga is a story for another time.

For the final first we have to rewind back to the tail end of January when my wife and I found out that we will be having our first child in September. This will not be our only child. Plans are to expand the clan out by at least 2 younglings.

When experiencing each of these first’s it was always a mixed feeling of sheer terror and boundless joy. Imagine Homer Simpson’s patented scream and “woo hoo” back to back if you will. I’m sure everyone that was or will be in my position can sympathize. Still trying to figure out how to “adult”, but soon will also have to figure out how to parent as well.

Lost & Found

So for the better part of 2 weeks I had lost the “Lock n Lock” container that I take my work snack in. Amazingly enough it resurfaced a few days ago. My wife was briefly annoyed, but that quickly passed. However the next item I had TEMPORARILY MISPLACED may not go so well.

A couple of days ago while getting myself ready for the day I went to put on my rings
(there are three that I normally wear) and my wedding band was MIA. For a second I thought I was going to have to change my name, get plastic surgery, and move to New Zealand. Then sanity took a hold again and I began to back track myself to figure out where I had misplaced it.

I have the (bad?) habit of removing my rings when I eat something that will make my hands dirty and/or greasy. So as I normally do I removed them and put them in my pocket at dinner time. When it became time to get ready for bed I emptied my pockets (at least I thought I did) placing the rings in the catch all dish my wife got me.

Coming back around to the morning and I am getting ready and then have my panic attack and realize I may not have completely emptied my work shirt pocket. Low and behold there was my wedding band. Crisis averted, all hands stand down, return to DEFCON 5. Moral of the story is not to do that again, but as I am a creature of habit and most likely wont listen to myself.

The Wife Section

So among my many new experiences of being a freshly minted husband is I can now shop in the wife section of the card store. Not that there was armed guards checking for my marriage certificate prior to that, but purchasing a “for my wife” card for my then girl friend/fiancée would have been a little weird.

Now it’s like oh shit, there’s entire extra section I now have to choose from. Made picking out a birthday card slightly easier. One of the small perks of being married.

None the less, Happy Birthday Dear.

Have You Met….My Wife?

One of the things I am still adjusting to is remembering to introduce my wife as well my wife. I quickly shuffle past girlfriend (realizing that she was promoted to Fiancée) and Fiancée (also realizing that we did indeed get married) and get right to wife. It’s probably only a half second delay and to date no one has noticed.

Once I utter the phrase “my wife” in any context of conversation I have to give myself a brief pause and realize those words actually came out of my mouth. Now please before I get any further into the conversation please realize this is in now way a negative thing for me just new.

It’s kind of like when I get a new operations directive at work. Takes a bit to adjust to it, but sooner or later it becomes old hat and just becomes part of the everyday workflow or in my case everyday speech.