Gentlemen if you haven’t been informed by now upon reaching manhood as determined by whatever you are issued a set of man cards. You start each year with five and can earn no more. Lose them as you will as the year goes on. (Loss of said man cards is determined by the rules set forth in the bro code as determined at the yearly men’s council.)
In a moment of weakness today I had to surrender one of my own man cards because I willingly drank a pumpkin spiced latte from dunkin. I am still hanging my head in shame but it was worth it.
In the event that you do have children all man cards are permanently suspended until the youngest is 18 years of age. As a parent it is understand that you inevitably have to do some unmanly things for sake of your children and there’s sense in besmirching ones record unnecessarily.
Please refer to the Dr. Cox link below for further source material.
Dr. Cox Man Cards
One of my best memories from childhood is watching Fred Rogers. Honestly, if you aren’t down with Trolley and The Land of Make Believe feel free to stop reading.
I think Mr. Rogers is the ultimate litmus test for when asking yourself if something is a good idea. Instead of asking yourself “What would my grandmother/father think?”, instead ask yourself, “What would Mr. Rogers think?”
Many of you may be Googling who Fred Rogers is and that’s fine, but if you grew up watching and learning from this man you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Keeping it simple today people.
I may stand alone here, but the house hunter show and those similar to it annoy the shit out of me. Sometime in the near future myself and my wife to be will start the arduous process of looking for our first home. To me these shows simplifies what I know is a complex process and also sets up unrealistic expectations.
Before anyone says, “Well stop watching it”. I hear you, but I watch it occasionally so as to share the TV with the others I live with, but also to get ideas for future upgrades to my own home when I get it. Over 15 years of working construction along side my father and I have learned how to make a house look like I did 30k in renovations for 10k worth of materials.
While watching these house hunter shows I have yet to see anyone with a budget under the 450k mark. Since I have yet to hit the lottery and I don’t have a job where I’m raking in the benjamins I am unable to relate to the potential buyers. I’m also guessing the average income of most viewers of these shows is not in that ball park either. (If there is an episode where the potential buyers have a more normal budget and its not their second home please post in the comments.)
I also find that the potential buyers sometimes unwillingness to bend or flex with their wants an desires in searching for a home really annoying. I’m sure that the producers have had the segments edited in a certain manner to accentuate that. However, I’m also aware of how uncompromising homer owners can sometimes be.
Occasionally when fielding patient phone calls within thirty seconds I will be asked to hang on a second. In most situations we are busy enough that I probably should not have answered the phone to begin with so asking me to hang on a second while you get yourself together is not going to happen. Since I have corporate masters to answer to I will not just hang up, but sure as shit I’ll hit that hold button.
Just to reiterate, at any given point in time we are normally very busy or working on getting ahead so as not to be over whelmed when busy. So, when calling into the pharmacy here is what you need to do. Be in a quite room. We don’t want to hear your loud family members and/or whatever TV show you are listening to nor have the time for you to mute the TV or quite family members.
Secondly have your refill numbers ready or whatever paper work you have questions on at hand. It would also behoove you to have paper and pencil ready to write down whatever you deem important.
The expectation is and will continue to be for speedy service. Adhering to what I am asking above will help maintain that quick service. It’s also a certain level of respect. In most other situations I will ask if you can hold I expect the same, but lets get the conversation going before that happens and not because your aren’t prepared for the conversation either.
If there is one fictional character from any TV series that I have learned something from it NCIS special agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Before anyone points out that it’s just a show I’d like to welcome you to the corner of “No Shit” and “No Duh”. However, if you just read the rules as is and apply common sense most of them have everyday application.
One of the things that I have to laugh at is people who bitch about how inaccurate sometimes the weather forecasters are on the local news channels. Let’s get a couple of things straight.
First off despite the advancements in technology and methodology over the years it is still not an exact science. There are dozen’s of factors that can skew a weather forecast even at the last second. I realize that the average individual has most likely forgotten what they had learned from middle school Earth and Space science classes which is why this leads to the cranky comments from viewers.
The average salary for a meteorologist can be somewhere in the six figure neighborhood. Based on the schooling and work they do I would say this is a justified salary. When it comes to being one of the forecasters on TV I would definitely say this is justified because now we are asking a scientist to convert the data they have obtained into to easily understandable charts, graphs, and maps for the rest of the world to see and understand. Where I join the rest of the pissed off masses is when the weather person isn’t a meteorologist, but a TV personality.
Although this person did have to sit and take the time to learn some of the science behind it, it only accounts for some of it. There is a disconnect on a certain level because they are not going to be able to convey a message clearly because they may not understand a concept fully especially in a situation where weather conditions may make a quick change. This is definitely one those jobs where its best left to the professionals.
The remote control, the clicker, that thingy that changes the channels. I think everyone knows what I am talking about. I also think that everyone can also sympathize with me that when it disappears it can be like looking for Bin Laden. Dam near impossible to find.
One of the things the manufactures of remotes have done is make the buttons glow in the dark. That’s great, but it only helps me locate the remote if it is out in the open and its a dark room. I need something more substantial when it has been lost in the abyss of the crack between the back of the couch and the cushions or accidentally kicked under a dresser or something of the sort.
I would like something that emits a noise when either a specific word is spoken or even something similar to the clapper device. It can even be app activated. If you are like me and tend to fall asleep with the TV on and wake up later because the noise from it woke you up you’ll use the remote to turn it off and then it will be lost until the next day when you want to watch some TV before bed again.
Someone get to work on this for me.