So among my many new experiences of being a freshly minted husband is I can now shop in the wife section of the card store. Not that there was armed guards checking for my marriage certificate prior to that, but purchasing a “for my wife” card for my then girl friend/fiancée would have been a little weird.
Now it’s like oh shit, there’s entire extra section I now have to choose from. Made picking out a birthday card slightly easier. One of the small perks of being married.
None the less, Happy Birthday Dear.
One of the things I am still adjusting to is remembering to introduce my wife as well my wife. I quickly shuffle past girlfriend (realizing that she was promoted to Fiancée) and Fiancée (also realizing that we did indeed get married) and get right to wife. It’s probably only a half second delay and to date no one has noticed.
Once I utter the phrase “my wife” in any context of conversation I have to give myself a brief pause and realize those words actually came out of my mouth. Now please before I get any further into the conversation please realize this is in now way a negative thing for me just new.
It’s kind of like when I get a new operations directive at work. Takes a bit to adjust to it, but sooner or later it becomes old hat and just becomes part of the everyday workflow or in my case everyday speech.
For the first time ever I have to continuously share a bed with someone now. Let me clarify to start with I am not complaining, but it is an adjustment for me. For close to 30 years I have had my own bed to myself.
Now that I share a bed with my wife I find my sleeping habits have changed. (For the better…..I think?) I have more or less shifted to her sleeping schedule which is going to bed earlier and getting an earlier start to my day. So far this has worked out in the effect that I find myself more well rested and more productive.
Maintaining sleep tends to be a little different now as well. I find myself roused from slumber easier. I attribute this mostly to the fact that again, I haven’t had anyone sleeping in the same bed as me ever so when the mattress shifts more than just a little I’m going to feel it. I also find myself more aware of odd internal and external noises of the house. (Please note the we have slept in a bed together on several other occasions but not for consecutive days as we do now.)
In the winter I know there will be a bonus because of shared body heat. Well for her anyway. In general my core body temperature tends to run slightly higher than normal where as my wife tends have feet and hands that feel like ice cubes.
Don’t really know where I’m heading with my thoughts on this at this point, but rest assured I’ll be throwing my thoughts into the ether as I encounter more firsts as newly married man.
I lost count of how many people asked me, “Are you nervous?”. Every time my answer was no. At no point in time did I have a reason to. My wife just didn’t give me a reason to be and through the amount of time we gave ourselves in preparation for the wedding everything went smoothly except for one hiccup. (A story for another time.) Let me break this down a way the might be more understandable.
I have the pleasure of owning a 50 Cal rifle. It is a rare occasion I take it out namely because of the expense of ammo. However, when I do I get all sorts of excited and happy. That’s my equivalent feeling leading up to the wedding. The wedding day itself was like the second(s)leading up before I pull the trigger. Either this is going to be a spectacular on the money shot and I get that awesome adrenaline rush of putting some lead down range or I’m gonna get the one junk round and the rifle is going to blow apart in my hands. Need less to say if you haven’t figured it out by now it was the exciting wonderful part.
I refused to let any negativity sneak into what was to be an awesome special day for me, my wife, and out collective friends and family.
My fiancée said yes many moons ago, but every once in a while I have to remind her that she did. Ladies, remember when you are irritated or dumb founded by your other half that you said yes. We did give you an out and it’s long past it. Seriously though, we mean well just give us an extra second.
On the other side of this coin is the man who asked you to marry him. Believe on more than one occasion and sometimes daily we ask ourselves, “Did I really ask her?” Rest assured it passes as quickly as a muscle cramp does. We love you as much as the day we asked if not more.
For those of you in a same sex relationship or gender neutral one I think you can find the same sentiments apply to your relationship.
So today I got to experience the required Pre-Cana class with my Fiancée. I have to admit it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Prior to going to the class I had gained a myriad of views, thoughts, and opinions on Pre-Cana. Going into the class I did my best to not have a preformed opinion on anything and wanted to genuinely learn something.
For this I am glad. I did indeed learn something about myself, my future wife, and us as a couple. To quickly sum that up and this is just my opinion we are on the right track, probably better off than most couples, but still have some things we are going to need to get better at.
I’m also gonna throw the church some props. Religion and spirituality was incorporated, but we weren’t beaten over the head with it either. I also found the information and opinions shared to be minimally biased and helpful. The catholic church has modernized some of its opinions coming closer to current cultural beliefs, but it still lacks in certain areas by either side stepping or not mentioning something.
To be quit honest my only real complaint was the chairs. As the day wore on their comfort level was minimized, but I have a feeling this was by design to keep us awake. All in all it was a positive experience.