Can I Get A Plain Pie?

I am always willing to try new things. Can’t remember the last time I said no to tasting something new. However, can we stop messing around with pizza. I am pretty sure I have broken down in the past what is ok in terms of pizza toppings, but we are into the realm of ridiculousness now.

There are several different types of specialty pizzas that I am down with. There are also a few that I have asked, “what the hell were you thinking?” What has become a bridge to far for me now is all the stuff crust options.

The first one through the hedge rows was the cheese stuffed crust pizza options. I was ok with that until we had 3 dozen different dipping sauce choices and it ceased to be an additive to the pizza crust. At some point in time they became pull apart cheesy garlic knots and now my pizza slice no longer actually has that crust edge to function as handle.

What I won’t accept is whoever thought putting a hot dog in the crust was an awesome idea. I’m sure it tastes good, but I don’t need a meal to go along with the one I’m already eating. This concept alone I’m pretty sure is one of the reasons that terrorists hate us.

Let me simplify this for everyone. It’s like beer. Don’t fuck with what we know what works. There wasn’t a demand for it before. Fairly certain there isn’t one now.

A Nation of Dippers

I am by no means a food connoisseur of any kind or have much knowledge of the worlds cuisines, but while enjoying dinner last evening a thought had occurred to me. How much of the US diet consists of a dipping sauce as part of the meal anymore?

It occurs to me that ketchup and ranch sauce are the two biggest dipping sauce choices in the US (at least from my perspective), but over the past five years or so I have seen a plethora of other sauces come into existence. It is with those last couple of thoughts that I have come to the conclusion that we are probably abusing the dipping privilege in comparison to other countries. Especially when it comes to having a dipping sauce and the meal you are enjoying doesn’t require one.


Orange Juice

On my list of foods that I must always have in the house is orange juice (OJ). I may even go so far as to say that it would be part of my final meal. It is that perfect blend of sweet with a slight bite of bitter taste from the citrus not to mention the health benefits gained by drinking it. However, I can be a bit of snob similar to winos.

I’m not really picky on brand; I have yet to come across a manufacturer that isn’t capable of squeezing oranges into a bottle. What I won’t tolerate is OJ made from concentrate, especially the frozen concentrate. Even when I make it myself I just can’t get the proper mix consistency with water and it normally turns into a slightly flavored orange colored concoction.

In terms of the mixed flavor orange juices let’s not kid ourselves here. It is now a fruit juice mix. I don’t care if the balance is tipped in favor of the OJ, once another fruit juice has been added we have moved away from it being just OJ. I’m by no means knocking them, in fact there are several blended flavors that I enjoy, but once that second ingredient is added we have moved away from the baseline.

I think a lot of people forget about the pulp until they take that first hit off of their orange juice. At that moment they either love it or hate it. In terms of me and the pulp content I prefer the home-style type. I don’t feel like I’m eating the OJ which some of the “lots of pulp” varieties can be like. On the flip side of that is the no pulp OJ. Although the flavor and the taste are there it’s akin to making a really awesome stew tasting it and realizing that something is just missing. Home-style is that happy medium.

Can I Get Some Horsey Sauce?

After much internal deliberation I have settled on Horsey Sauce for today’s Blog topic. If you have ever ventured into an Arby’s you know exactly what I am talking about. If you haven’t done so yet, what are you waiting for?

Traditionally from my perspective it is an excellent dipping sauce for the curly fries. However, over the  years of trying it with other things there isn’t much on the menu that it doesn’t go well with. I think Arby’s has recently figured that out and it is the reason that they sell it by the bottle now.

The Cost of Doing Business

With every business there are expenses one incurs. In most instances expenses go up over time occasionally they do go down but on the rare side i would tend to think. This evening I ran head long into an increased expense on a business that was passed directly on to the consumer.

Upon returning to a restaurant that I had been to previously I noticed a sign that stated ” 3% will be charged on every dollar for all credit transactions.” I was then enlightened that this was becoming a common business practice because credit companies were charging more on credit transactions. I get that this cost needs to be set off somehow, but a blatant charge on top of all the other costs and taxes I am already going to pay I don’t find acceptable.

Please don’t tell me that I must pay a fee in order to patronize your business. I literally felt like I was being punished for choosing to use a card to pay. Do what everyone else does. Slightly increase the cost of your goods or if you a large enough bottom line absorb the cost of it.

Updated Menu’s

Once again a national chain with a restaurant in my immediate area has updated their menu. They normally do this right at the beginning of summer and I can appreciate them studying trends and trying to stay current with consumers wants and desires. However, even with this updated menu they always continue to drop the ball.

Every year a few weeks after the new menu starts I decide to give said restaurant another go. Every year I leave the restaurant disappoint in more than one aspect..

There was a point in time where I was a regular due to the trivia they held once a week. I noticed that most servers would not last for more than a month or two. This does impact  a restaurants ability to provide a consistent experience. This revolving door of employees continues today.

With the updated menu there are always lots of excellent food choices which should be of great quantity and quality. On more than one occasion the quantity was zero because they ran out. If something is a brand new item and/or it sells more than other choices carry some extra. I know there is a limit even to that, but when it’s only 5:30 on a Saturday night your inability to order appropriately is not my problem.

Quality is a whole other issue. I have had no problems whatsoever and had a good quality meal, but the last time that has happened at the restaurant in question I can’t remember. The food is either under or over cooked, prepared not as requested, or my favorite not the correct order at all.

I know this sounds like a lot of bitching here, but let me point out a few things. If you work in or operate a service based industry much like myself your ability to provide that service and a good quality product is what the business will live and die by. It is also important to note that there are several competitors in the area that can provide a better quality service and product and sometimes for less money.

Peanut….Peanut butter and………Let’s stick with the Peanut Butter

I enjoy peanut butter very much.  If peanut butter was a person I’d probably have an affair with it because that’s how much I enjoy peanut butter. Peanut butter goes awesomely with many foods. I think everyone is familiar with Resse’s Peanut Butter Cups, best combination to date of chocolate and peanut butter. The classic PB&J sandwich as well as marshmallow fluff and peanut butter for those who want an extra sweet treat. I would even go so far as to say as it might even make a good hotdog topping.

Peanut butter is even an excellent snack all by itself. Just take a large spoon and scoop a big ol’ dollop of it out of the jar and enjoy. Although I prefer smooth peanut butter myself I do not discriminate against those who would choose chunky. To each their own as they say.

Some would argue that peanut butter isn’t all that healthy of a snack. To you people I say “feh”. Yes in America SOME sugar is added to peanut butter, but it is not a devastating amount. Just enough to improve the taste. If you have ever tasted European peanut butter you know what I am talking about. Peanut butter is packed full of protein, carbohydrates, and good fats that your body needs. It also has some of the daily vitamins and minerals that everyone should have.

To those of you with a peanut allergy I am sorry. You’re missing out on a good time. Since I started on the topic of peanut allergies everyone take a seat for a minute while I pontificate from atop my soapbox.

From what I understand most peanut allergies can be avoided if mothers consume peanut products while pregnant. I’m sure there is some study somewhere that says to avoid peanut products while pregnant, but based on the limited nutritional information I just provided and the fact that my mother consumed peanut products while pregnant with me and I turned out just fine (Depending on who you ask.) I can safely call bullshit.

To the schools that have banned peanut products, who the hell are you kidding? No one has peanut allergies that bad. If they truly did they would need to live in a self-contained environment. Most foods at groceries run the risk of being contaminated by peanut dust because everything comes through the same loading docks. I know some schools have created the “no peanut” lunch table to accommodate students with peanut allergies and I applaud this, but at the same time feel bad for the student who has to sit there. Rare is the elementary school friend who has the maturity level great enough to sacrifice not ever having anything to do with peanut products so they can sit with a friend.