Can I Get A Plain Pie?

I am always willing to try new things. Can’t remember the last time I said no to tasting something new. However, can we stop messing around with pizza. I am pretty sure I have broken down in the past what is ok in terms of pizza toppings, but we are into the realm of ridiculousness now.

There are several different types of specialty pizzas that I am down with. There are also a few that I have asked, “what the hell were you thinking?” What has become a bridge to far for me now is all the stuff crust options.

The first one through the hedge rows was the cheese stuffed crust pizza options. I was ok with that until we had 3 dozen different dipping sauce choices and it ceased to be an additive to the pizza crust. At some point in time they became pull apart cheesy garlic knots and now my pizza slice no longer actually has that crust edge to function as handle.

What I won’t accept is whoever thought putting a hot dog in the crust was an awesome idea. I’m sure it tastes good, but I don’t need a meal to go along with the one I’m already eating. This concept alone I’m pretty sure is one of the reasons that terrorists hate us.

Let me simplify this for everyone. It’s like beer. Don’t fuck with what we know what works. There wasn’t a demand for it before. Fairly certain there isn’t one now.

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